Update
Some days you wish you could curl up into a ball and let everything roll over you and forget about the harsh realities that are happening in your life. We have had a lot of tears and hurdles to overcome. How does one deal with the realities that your little girl has to face and those that she will face. It is so easy to forget that she has MRKH and pretend that she has a normal future ahead for her, one filled with lots of normal things, then one moment in time brings back the harsh reality. The other night she had a loose tooth that has been bothering her, well, after much coaxing and pursuasion and a lot of tears she agreed to let daddy pull the tooth. She had her 2 cups (one for the tooth and one to use to rinse the blood out) and of course I was holding her hand. That girl sure can squeeze, I then had that moment. As she was squeezing very tightly the first thought that came to my mind was that I sure don't want to hold her hand when she is in labor, then the brick wall was there and I realized I would never have the chance and either would she. Later after getting the tooth out, I layed in bed wishing I could forget that she has such a future ahead of her. My husband held me and loved me as my heart was breaking for all the uncertainty ahead of her.
I wish that was the only issue we had. As mentioned before she has eating issues. Over the last couple of months it has been a like climbing a mountain with her and only getting a few feet at a time. So we found out our insurance does not cover Nutritional Therapy. We had been going to a dietician at the children's hospital and then found out it is not covered. We knew we had to find her a counselor who could help her deal with her fears and concerns about eating. It was a very emotional day trying to get things sorted out and keep hitting dead ends, finally after I paused and prayed for guidance, I found a counselor who specializes in eating disorders. After talking to the insurance and finding no luck on a counselor who specializes in eating disorders for kids in NM, I came across this counselor. Of course the next opening was the next day...yes the next day. So I went and talked to her and felt that this would work, she will be meeting with her next week. I feel great.
As nice as that goes, we are still dealing with her not eating and she is growing taller but not gaining any weight. She is beginning to like the look of being skinny and enjoying it. When we went to buy jeans for her the other day, it was the choice between skinny jeans and super skinny jeans. And of course they were both too big on her.
I keep moving on each day in hopes that we can help her become comfortable and secure in who she is. Not what she doesn't have and what she won't have. I take each day and pray on my knees that I will have the strength and guidance to help make the right choices and to offer her all the guidance out c-bug will need in this challenge we call life.
For now we focus on her eating issues in hope that she will be better. It is scary when the dr. says if she was younger she would have a feeding tube because she issn't getting all the nutrients. The next step if we can't help her get over her issues of eating is an inpatient hospital to help her. We are trying all we can to help her face the reality of her eating issues.
As for now we take each step and moving ahead with one foot in front of the other.
I wish that was the only issue we had. As mentioned before she has eating issues. Over the last couple of months it has been a like climbing a mountain with her and only getting a few feet at a time. So we found out our insurance does not cover Nutritional Therapy. We had been going to a dietician at the children's hospital and then found out it is not covered. We knew we had to find her a counselor who could help her deal with her fears and concerns about eating. It was a very emotional day trying to get things sorted out and keep hitting dead ends, finally after I paused and prayed for guidance, I found a counselor who specializes in eating disorders. After talking to the insurance and finding no luck on a counselor who specializes in eating disorders for kids in NM, I came across this counselor. Of course the next opening was the next day...yes the next day. So I went and talked to her and felt that this would work, she will be meeting with her next week. I feel great.
As nice as that goes, we are still dealing with her not eating and she is growing taller but not gaining any weight. She is beginning to like the look of being skinny and enjoying it. When we went to buy jeans for her the other day, it was the choice between skinny jeans and super skinny jeans. And of course they were both too big on her.
I keep moving on each day in hopes that we can help her become comfortable and secure in who she is. Not what she doesn't have and what she won't have. I take each day and pray on my knees that I will have the strength and guidance to help make the right choices and to offer her all the guidance out c-bug will need in this challenge we call life.
For now we focus on her eating issues in hope that she will be better. It is scary when the dr. says if she was younger she would have a feeding tube because she issn't getting all the nutrients. The next step if we can't help her get over her issues of eating is an inpatient hospital to help her. We are trying all we can to help her face the reality of her eating issues.
As for now we take each step and moving ahead with one foot in front of the other.
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